amandax10

ten

2009-09-16T12:14:15Z

you're one of my best friends. i love you naomi. thank you for all of the memories, the laughter, the maison and the inside joke we have, still. thank you for always being here and for being someone i can always count on. because even if we dont talk for months i can always call you or whatever and you're always willing to help me out.
you're the only one who has dragged me up a hill (and lets not forget, abandoned me so i had to pull my self up) when im sick
the only one who bought huge amounts of maccas chips on my birthday
the only one to park in a clubs carpark just to drink maison in the car
the only one who'll giggle as much as i do when i hear the P word

:)

are you listening? are you listeninggggg?

2009-09-13T03:59:51Z

i'm holding waaaaaay too much from you at the moment

Writer's Block: Top of the Charts

2009-09-09T16:11:36Z

What's the most-played song in your music library?

View 2058 Answers

the con-tegan and sara

amandax10 @ 2009-09-09T23:03:00

2009-09-09T13:04:09Z

Nine

2009-09-08T11:19:51Z

you tell me you love me. that you thought of me all this time (while i've been wondering if you are thinking of me when i think about you). you're honest with me, and we dont even need to hear it from each other to know that its true. you risk losing her over me and i'm not even there to be with you.
i miss you more than anything. i think about you all the time. i dream about you. i talk about you to anyone.
though i want you back, i know you'll always be here as i will be for you.

Eight

2009-09-07T12:33:39Z

you mean the world to me

All I See

2009-09-01T13:27:53Z

All I see scares me
No one waits...

You will never waste my time, no, no
You will never waste my time, 'cause...

Well, she locks all the doors and turns, says,
"We will always be safe here in this bed
All I see scares me, and no one waits forever."

So come closer, baby
I want to see what you're made of, see what you're made of
'Cause this isn't all we could be
You're not the same, and I'm, I'm not the same and...

No one could ever wait for you
And no one, yeah, no one could ever wait for you
I'll wait for you, love

But you are the never ending sleep
That I love to treat with this medicine
I get from my, my closer friend
But all I see...

So come closer, baby
I want to see what you're made of, see what you're made of
'Cause this isn't all we could be
You're not the same, and I'm, I'm not the same and...

Seven

2009-09-01T13:17:46Z

i'm thankful for understanding uni tutors. after the stupid uni messed everything up for me i now have the staff on my side, she said i dont deserve it cause i work so hard. lets hope i do okay in the special enrolments thing.. lets just say i'm doing it that way cause i'm awesome, yeah.. :D

hopefully something works itself out

LOLS

2009-08-31T22:50:21Z

malicious gossip at its finest: occurs when the individual spreading it contradicts themselves in the rumours they try to spread, to the faces of the people its about.

i NEVER thought anyone older than me could be this stupid and immature. i only laugh at you because you're pathetic and know nothing about me and my relationships ahahhahaa

i cant stop thinking about you

2009-08-31T05:25:55Z

Number 6

thanks, for letting yourself mean so much to me

Five

2009-08-28T13:27:56Z

i love my son, so much. i'm lucky to have him in my life

Four

2009-08-25T12:00:04Z

today i am thankful to have my real friends back/in my life. i feel so much better now :)

Numbers Two and Three (to different people)

2009-08-24T13:08:11Z

Two
i'm thankful we have disagreements. i dont like them but i always learn from them, and i'm sure you do too. you're worth the tears.

Three
i'm so glad you never called me. it made me forget about you for just a little while. and i am kinda hoping you're not thinking about me this whole time

gratitude experiment

2009-08-23T23:59:46Z

hey. i'm back :D
and i'm starting off with something from my health psychology class. we're studying the psychology of happiness. and apparently this experiment/exercise makes you feel more satisfied with life. every day, or when you have time or whatever, you list or write about something you are thankful about.

Number One.
i am thankful for all the time and effort, hours and energy that carly put into fixing up my hair, washing it, brushing it and cutting it. it looks awesome. now i love it when she runs her hands through it, when she talks about it to other people, when she talks about it when we are alone together.

amandax10 @ 2008-10-30T23:40:00

2008-10-30T12:43:28Z

i miss the person you made me out to be
i felt so strong and how you didnt even have to hold me for it to be alright

im crumbling with the way things are now and i dont know how to express it

amandax10 @ 2008-08-15T16:29:00

2008-08-15T06:35:29Z

she's gone.
i wanted her so desperately to just leave.
she said she was going away for a while.
she kissed my cheek and left.
i said nothing. i didnt beg her to stay.
she knew a part of me wanted it to end.
i never showed the part that showed what she meant to me.
and now she's gone i'm so alone.
no one to hold me at night or to make me feel alive.
i still can't say anything to her.
i never answer her unless its too much.
so she left.
tears rolled down my cheeks and she walked straight out that door.
out of my mind.
she was never in my heart.

please come back.

e hine

2008-07-28T15:14:44Z

huri mai ra ki ahau e tau nei
noho i te aroha taku kotiro
noho i te aroha te ngakau o ahau

e hine

rongongia to ataahua o te ahau
e matakitai ko te ahau
e matakiaki kei matauria

huri mai ra ki ahau e tau nei
kei kona tonu a wairua ahau
mo ake tonu atu

he aha kei taku uma?
he aroha ranei?
aue, he aroha
taku ataahua

e hine

ka rite ta taua aroha
ki te tai o te moana
ki te mahana o te ra
me to kahurangi o te ata

ko taku aroha e haere tahi ana kia koe

e hine

the first poem in maori. if you read it go easy on me

you are so last summer

2008-07-27T02:02:30Z

She said
"You're a touch overrated,
You're a lush and I hate it,
But these grass stains on my knees
They won't mean a thing"

And all I need to know
Is that I'm something you'll be missing
(is that I'm something that you're missing)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far

pretty much says it all.

ive realised i'm addicted to potatoes.
fatty potato products.

i watched the jamie oliver show and it depressed me. i can't really eat eggs at the moment because of it.
maybe its something about watching a bunch of baby chickens be gassed to death.

i'm putting writing on hold.
is it ever okay to not express what you're feeling? cause i've kinda given up trying to write something meaningful in what i write. i'm sick of failing in it. i really am sick of trying to do it. i hate writing then screwing up my paper. i dont like creating something that isnt right. especially when i write for myself.

and also; i realised i didnt listen to any music the other day until 10pm. thats weird. it really is. stupid friday.

i woke up before 10am today. i feel good about it, maybe i'll actually sleep tonight..

if youre interested, my favourite colour is burnt orange. for no actual reason of liking it, i really love it and anything orange.
i'm going to shower soon. soon because i feel like singing..

amandax10 @ 2008-07-26T03:44:00

2008-07-25T17:54:22Z

new words i already knew but i should take into account:
existentialism
subsistence
contemporaneous

i was going to write but no.

maybe actual loneliness was what i needed to solve the lonely problem?
and not be listened to to solve the not listening to problem?
i dont know how but i worsened circumstance wise yet feel better emotionally.

the key to caring is listening.
i need nothing more but to be listened to.
i do nothing but listen.

maybe its the garlic spagbol talking mmmmmk

i could breathe this way everyday

2008-07-24T05:21:17Z

the line went dead
but she was still holding on the other end
she inhaled as if she was taking a hit of courage
we both knew what she was about to say
still the air lingered as if no actual life existed between us
i forgot it even existed even
she drew in another breath, preparing herself
for just three words we both knew
she was going to say them, i knew it
she knew it too, still the fear stood before her

a moment later she let out a sigh
she started crying
out of fear? out of what?
what was she feeling?
i could feel her tears through the phone line
frozen, i didnt know what to do
should she even be saying this to me?
those three words.
so simple
so easy to spell
but mean so much

she drew in the largest breath yet
she let it out.
there, she said it.
for a moment i forgot to breathe
her exhale brought me back to reality
there, yes, she said it
and in one breathe i said it back
there, its said, and its done

i guess its okay to exhale now..

forgive me, i'm not good with words
but those mean everything
and they're the clearest things ive ever said
or ever heard and believed
each time i hear you inhale
i'll remember

I wont get enough until my legs are broken

2008-07-23T02:59:33Z

stare back at me.
come on,
open your eyes and see me here.
i'm here, can't you see?
i'm more than a feeling.
oh please, girl
i know you're in my arms
i know you're right here
open your eyes,
see me lying there
i'm more than a feeling.
open your eyes

so i can stare down into your heart, so you can feel the way i do

see, i'm more than just a feeling
i'm right here
with you in my arms
can we stay this way forever?
can't you feel me for the
rest. of. your. life.

can i write a million songs about the way i'm feeling now?

i'm more than a feeling
i'm right here in front of you.
open your eyes
let me show you
i'm more than love
the promise that i'll make it alright

my head is spinning, my heart is beating i feel my chest is about to burst

i'll show you more than just a feeling
i'll show you what you're worth to me
all you have to do now is stare back at me

amandax10 @ 2008-07-14T23:08:00

2008-07-14T13:10:32Z

this is the wife and i :)

for those of you who havent seen us
or me in a towel

found solace in the most weird and wonderful places

2008-07-12T15:59:13Z

i've run out of words

and its nice, for once

its like ive had some sort of revelation
but i havent quite cause i dont know what it is

the night starts here

2008-07-09T18:02:05Z

youre intoxicating
almost suffocating
just because youre you
and you seem to be right in front of me
staring back at me
i feel like my heart skipped a beat

this feels so.. foreign to me.
you seem so addictive tonight

like youre my secret
my secret i'll have to keep

i'm holding back all the things that are running through my mind right now as i'm typing this.
i'm not really sure what to say or do but i'm enjoying this feeling for once

do you remember

2008-07-08T16:34:29Z

that night you held me and whispered how you felt for me? and i ried and cried. the first night we spent together. a whole two hours sleep then, too. remember how i woke up and i was speechless.. you were too.. reality hit me with how real it was.. all i could do was smile like an idiot.

and that day we spent in your bed not doing anything or saying anything and i just started crying out of nowhere from being so happy? you didnt say anything. you just held me there.

i miss you carlyface